I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
