how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
I DEMAND FORESKIN
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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