Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
Randomize