You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Randomize
