the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
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