i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
Randomize
