Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
Im part way to drunk.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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