He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
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