I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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