Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
