At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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