Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
