There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
That's when you crack a 10am beer
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
