All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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