And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize
