Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
