Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
