I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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