She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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