Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize