get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
