Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
