Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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