Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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