apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
The feeling are messing with the penis
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
