No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
