fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
don't judge my taste in strippers
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
Randomize
