but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
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