drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
