Me. At least after what I've been through.
What the fuck I just showed up to court still drunk and the judge told me I smelled like his wife
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
