Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Randomize
