im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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