Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
