The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize