Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
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