nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
...so i touched it.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
