I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Randomize
