I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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