i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Randomize
