I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Randomize
