I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
I think i got beer on your cat.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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