Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
