what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
This is awkward. You have a four minute voicemail from me. I would delete it. I accidently hit your number on speed dial and called you while I was vomiting a mai tai.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
