dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
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