I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
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