when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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