I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Randomize
