Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
