You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
Randomize
