this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
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every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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