i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Randomize
