Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
