I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
