dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
We need to rekindle our bromance
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Randomize