No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
