I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Randomize
