Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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