I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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