Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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