I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
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